Getting (delayed) alone time

When my husband and I found out we were having a baby, it was a mutual decision that I would stay home. It’s been over six years now that I’ve been a stay-at-home mom. Now that we have two girls, I’ve found out so much about myself, my husband, and what it’s truly like to raise children.

I couldn’t be more proud of my two sweet girls. And I consider myself beyond lucky that I get to stay home with them. Most of the time. But there are times that I ask myself if I will ever get to pee uninterrupted again. Will I ever get to take a bath alone without one of them bursting through the door to show me another unnecessary band-aid they just put on their non-existent owie? Everything else is manageable. But sometimes, I just want a little bit of privacy.

Well, that day finally came. Our youngest started preschool a couple weeks ago. At first I thought it would be amazing. I’d finally get to do all those things I’ve wanted to do for so long. Like, have that much anticipated alone time, in the bathroom.

That dream came true over the last two weeks, and you know what? It’s totally overrated. I miss them when they’re gone. I didn’t know they’d grow up so quickly. My request for “privacy” has been granted–I’m now home alone a few days a week. And it’s different than I thought it would be. I’ve found myself looking at the clock more than ever. I set my alarm for the first pick-up time, and eagerly await the second it goes off.

I’ll have all the alone time I want once they’re grown up. For now, I’ll take the chaos, meltdowns, lack of privacy, and interrupted sleeps. There will be a day I long for those things. The good and bad. It’s all a gift.

I am grateful.